Tag: Loss

The death of my sister inspired a creative process

Posted on by Julie Maltby

In 1995, my safe, certain world blew up. My sister Laurie died in a tragic accident while on vacation in Thailand. Laurie was my favourite human. I still love her and miss her every day. In almost 30 years, that hasn’t changed.

Today would have been Laurie’s 58th birthday. On every birthday, death anniversary and other annual occasion she and I shared, I reflect on Laurie’s life. She brought deep love, joy and fun to my life. I learned so much from my sister, like the importance of living each day as if it could be your last. Life is fleeting.

My sister’s death also led me to study Thanatology to learn more about grief and loss. At the time, I didn’t know I was searching for meaning to explain why Laurie died, especially so young and tragically.

Now, I understand that meaning making is a creative process.

Creativity is the use of imagination or original ideas. It’s the ability to transcend traditional ideas, rules, patterns and relationships to create meaningful new ideas. By engaging in a creative process, you can make something new from grief and various kinds of problems.

As a coach, creativity is central to my work. I use creative conversations, based on a narrative inquiry approach, and any kind of art form. It’s not about creating a pleasing work of art – although that’s certainly possible. Rather, the practice of creativity can help you shape an identity and life that is ultimately more beautiful to you. And a beautiful life is a gift you deserve! I encourage you to generate new possibilities in grief through creativity.

This is a drawing of my beautiful sister, Laurie.
This isn’t the work of a professional artist.
That’s okay. It’s an expression of my love for my sister
and the beginning of a creative process in grief.

This drawing was the first creative expression of my grief for the death of my sister. It wasn’t the last. Laurie inspired:

  • My full-time career, which included a lot of creative outlets
  • My love of live music, which she and I experienced together several times
  • Seeing beauty from behind the lens of a camera, as she appreciated the outdoors and its many gifts to those who open our hearts and senses to all the natural world offers

Remembering Laurie breathes life and creativity into many aspects of my life and my grief.

How does grief inspire your creativity?

Retirement brings joy and loss

Posted on by Julie Maltby
A man is sitting on a park bench by water. The words "As you retire" appear on the image.
Retirements brings joy and loss. With loss comes grief. The Loss Art is here to help.

Joys of retirement

When you retire, there’s much to look forward to. You won’t have to get up at the same (and maybe undesirable) time every day. You’ll have more time to spend with those you love. You’ll have more time to spend doing what you love.

Losses of retirement

All change comes with loss. If you haven’t considered this, think about when you left a job for a position with a better salary, more vacation time and improved working conditions. What could there be to lose in this scenario?

  • Friends from your past job you won’t see as frequently or maybe ever again
  • Comfort in knowing the job
  • Comfort in knowing how, and how long it will take, to get to work

In my case, I retired and moved from the city and home I shared with my husband and parrot for more than 28 years. That was 2.5 years ago. While I’m grateful for my new community, new friends and the benefits listed above, I still grieve not being able to pop in regularly to see friends I’ve had for a lifetime. And I miss the perks of working for an organization that created opportunities for teamwork and fun social gatherings outside of the office.

While I was ready to retire from a demanding full-time career, I knew I wasn’t ready to live a life of leisure – and perhaps greater isolation – 24/7. Building a part-time business keeps me active and engaged.

Resources

If you’re struggling since losing or voluntarily leaving a job, please check out Grieve a job loss on the Services page. I designed this workshop to help you feel ready to move on to your next opportunity, which may be a fulfilling retirement. I can bring the workshop to you anytime!

It’s essential to plan for a mentally healthy retirement.

Finally, here’s an excellent and free resource from Workplace Strategies for Mental Health to help you plan for a mentally healthy retirement. Even if you’ve been retired for years, if you think you could be living with more joy, you may find the Retiring Well Questionnaire enlightening and helpful.