To heal from grief, one must accept the death of the loved one. I believe artificial intelligence (AI) can feed into a grieving person’s denial of the loss and keep them stuck in their grief. For example, I read about a woman who texted her mother who had died. She asked where her mother had gone, told her she missed her and soon she received this AI-generated response: “Honey, I wish I could give you a definite answer, but what I do know is that our bond and our love transcends physical boundaries… I’m in the memories we shared, the love we had and the lessons I gave you. I’m in your heart and in your dreams…” (Source: https://www.vox.com/culture/23965584/grief-tech-ghostbots-ai-startups-replika-ethics)
While a logical thinker may recognize this response isn’t real and may find comfort in the beauty and hope in the words, logic doesn’t always guide a grieving person’s process. It certainly doesn’t inform our emotions. The head and the heart process grief differently.
Artificial intelligence platforms offer artificial support, which isn’t all bad
In my research for this post, I learned about “grief tech,” a crop of California-based startups like Replika, HereAfter AI, StoryFile, and Seance AI.
The software typically guides users through a personality questionnaire and trains its AI-backed algorithm based on the responses. Such applications come at a cost. Subscriptions for plans range from a few dollars a month to hundreds of dollars per year.
Now, AI can even make those loved ones say or do things they never said or did in life. This practice raises both ethical concerns and questions around whether this helps or hinders the grieving process. (Source: https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/06/tech/ai-communicating-with-dead/index.html)
Artificial intelligence can have a place on your grief journey. For example, if you don’t have the means to pay for counselling, AI may provide an interactive form of self-help. Like all AI-generated words, whether verbal or in writing, the message will need mental editing.
Keep it real
Here’s my point: grief is a very real human experience. While artificial intelligence applications can bring comfort, giving them too much influence can create an unhealthy grieving experience. A more natural and real way to keep the dead with us is through linking objects, like photos and other items from the person’s life. We can also incorporate the lessons, values and memories they gave us to help us live a full life.
Many of us are capturing moments with those we love more than ever before, often posting them on social media platforms. You can curate these photos and videos so you can access and share them throughout your lifetime. You can take this practice a step further by creating legacy projects with those you want to remember and by whom you want to be remembered. The act of creating the legacy with loved ones while they’re still living can be a meaningful, authentic way to celebrate the life you’ve shared together. After death, these projects become family heirlooms that share wisdom, truth, love and hope with current and future generations.
Have you tried AI in your grief process? If so, I’d love to hear about your experience.