If you’ve arrived at this page, it likely means someone who cares about you gave you one of The Loss Art’s support cards. Read on for tips and messages to help you turn that empathy you share so freely with others towards yourself.
If you don’t feel empathy for weeks or months after losing someone or something significant to you, that’s normal. We have limited capacity to care for ourselves and others on a good day. When you’re in the throes of grief, it’s okay to focus on you and your needs. Give yourself the gift of compassion and empathy. You’ll know when you’re ready to help others.
Grief is heavy – and self-empathy is about meeting yourself where you are, not where you think you “should” be. Here are gentle, active ways to show empathy to yourself while you’re grieving:
Give yourself permission
• Let your feelings be messy, contradictory, or quiet.
• Release timelines. There’s no “right pace” for grief.
Talk to yourself like someone you love
• Replace self-criticism with kindness: “Of course this hurts. Anyone would struggle.”
• Name what you’re feeling instead of judging it.
Honour your energy
• Rest without guilt.
• Say no more often than usual – protect your emotional bandwidth.
Create small rituals
• Light a candle, write a note, visit a meaningful place, or play a song that lets the feelings move.
• Rituals help grief feel witnessed, even when it’s private.
Stay connected to your body
• Breathe deeply, stretch, walk, or place a hand on your chest when waves hit.
• Grief lives in the body – gentle physical care matters.
Ask for support (and accept it)
• Let others help in concrete ways.
• If talking feels like too much, even sitting quietly with someone counts.
Lower the bar
• Do the bare minimum when needed. Surviving is enough some days.
• Celebrate small acts: getting out of bed, eating, responding to one message.
Check in with yourself regularly
• Ask: “What do I need right now?” Answer honestly.
• Needs can change from hour to hour and that’s okay.
Self-empathy doesn’t make grief go away – but it makes it less lonely.
Let Creative Grief Coach Julie Maltby support you as you move through your grief.
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